probably screamed at aethan too many times the last two hours. d na jud kaya. i am exhausted and sleepy and just really really really angry. i had to turn to gripping the bedrails real tight and biting the pillows out of frustration because i really was too damn angry, i was scared i'd hurt the baby without meaning to.
he is finally asleep and now i feel really bad for having done that. i have a splitting headache and i'm just too old for this.
it's 5am. i should go back to sleep too.
my buotan baby boy.
I am so sorry for last night. You didn't deserve the angry mommy I was. You were not feeling well and had to let me know.
Hasta mga silingan nakamata guro ato nagtuo nabuang nako. I still do have anger management issues. It's just super super extra self-control lang jud around the baby no matter the feelings. (Gahd, you would not want to know the really bad possible actions that may come when I am angry. I always just had to remember to think. Think hard and concentrate to control myself😢)
Nakonsensya ko pag alas kwatro kapin ato oi kay by the time I actually calmed down enough to carry him straight until he fell asleep, nidako na tawn ang buslot sa iyang ilong hinilak oi.
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