i will go the distance

#deardiary

#insomniacrandomthoughts

I am not a good person. I never was. I try but I know I am not.

I was never a hero, I was always the villain with a terrible backstory. I pretend and then I try, but I always lost my way... many many times, human and frail as I am.

But that did not stop me from dreaming of a happy ending still. Even if I knew villains don't ever get that.

I imagine it will be like this in God's kingdom... I will get a hero's welcome. And the crowds will cheer my name.. even more because I am someone that everyone deemed unlovable and undeserving. That will be my happy ending.

And I must face every pain and every hurt from now on.. and go the distance. I am everything I had been, yes, but I am new, too, because God made me new. And though my heart may have been dark, if I pray hard enough and believe hard enough, when my journey is complete, I will see it clean and white and pure and deserving, and I will get my hero's welcome when the time has come.

"It's an uphill slope

But I won't lose hope, 

'till I go the distance

And my journey is complete"